Kate Dalley Show

I feel like nature has sent us all to our rooms for being buttheads.

Considering that most people are buried in their Sunday best, the zombie apocalypse is shaping up to be a formal affair.

I stopped believing in Santa when I ran into him at the mall and he asked for my autograph.

What do you do when you come across a very hungry bear in the mountains? No need to do anything. The bear takes care of everything for you.

I don’t believe in beating my kids. So I make them wear a Justin Bieber shirt and Crocs to school so the other kids will do it for me.

Don’t make me use my crabby mom powers!

Like the butcher who backed up into a meat grinder, I’m getting a little behind in my work.

Is it rude to toss a xanax into someone’s mouth while they’re talking?

Consent. It’s why people run from the rain and dance in the shower.

Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing.